GM Evans Retires from Coaching

This weekend the MRFHL All-Star festivities were held in Toronto, the day after WWE came to town for the Elimination Chamber. GM Evans was excited to hear that he had been selected as the Head Coach for the Eastern Conference All-Stars and got to work putting together the optimal line combinations, even setting both special team units. Heading into Sunday it was all but assured that the East would dominate the game, led by three members of the MRFHL Red Wings in key roles: Connor McDavid, Victor Hedman, and Brandon Hagel. 

The lineup selected was:

Jack Hughes-McDavid-Pastrnak
Hagel-Crosby-Reinhart
Bedard-Trocheck-Marner
Stephenson-Strome-Kane

Hedman-Makar
Quinn Hughes-Toews
Werenski-Theodore

Swayman
UPL

PP1: Jack Hughes-McDavid-Pastrnak Quinn Hughes-Makar
PP2: Marner-Crosby-Reinhart Theodore-Bedard
PK1: Trocheck-Reinhart Hedman-Makar
PK2: Crosby-Marner Quinn Hughes-Toews

C: Crosby
A: McDavid
A: Makar

By the time the 3rd period of the All-Star game began, it had already become clear that the Hockey Gods had given these line combinations a very strong thumbs down. Hedman ended the game at -6, Makar -4, UPL leaked goals like a sieve, and McDavid finished 25% on faceoffs. When the dust settled on the 9-3 beatdown, only two players could say "I didn't suck that game". Swayman faced a mountain of shots in his half of the game and stood strong with a .924 save percentage, and Dylan Strome scored 2 nice goals despite being relegated to 4th line minutes by that bozo Head Coach. 

At the closing press conference GM Evans had the following to say: "Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast. I think the best thing for Eastern Conference All-Star team going forward is for me to stay far away from the bench. I suspect I will encounter no resistance on this decision, but a big thanks to our GM VideoJ for selecting me for this honour anyway."

-Detroit Free Press, 
March 3, 2025