Brendl Division: Trade Deadline Preview 2014-03-11 Welcome to the republic of Oceania! While all the GMs were out during the summer, the Commisioners office went and installed cameras to keep tabs on every general manager and more importantly, keep them in line. What those cameras caught could be considered disturbing, or erotic (depending on how messed up you are). The cameras also caught that everyone needs to show more respect to the head of this league, and more dedication needs to be shown (the idea of employing some thought police has crossed Dylan’s mind). So break out the flags of support as the deadline is almost here, and get ready because the two minutes of hate begin at the conclusion of this article. Pittsburgh Penguins: 8th in the Brendl 62 Points, Buyers and Sellers While he says he was on vacation, the MRFHL cameras seem to have caught Mr. Bennett behind the counter at the Beer Store more often than not, or doing weird things in Peterborough. While a playoff spot is out of the picture and no 1st round pick, Bennett is the wildcard of the deadline. As always, he is usually trade crazy when he shows up, but all our cameras only see him playing with a small dog right now……so 50/50 he shows up. Expect Chara to be moved, but other than that the field is wide open. Pending UFA: Matt Moulson, Mikhail Grabovski, Matt Hunwick Trade Bait: Zdeno Chara, Pavel Datsyuk, Martin St.Louis Needs: His own 1st, 1A/B Goalie, New York Rangers: 7th in the Brendl 66 Points, Sellers According to our cameras, Mr. Phil Grote has been pacing back and forth trying to make calls and light a fire under his team, but all that did was give Pavelski 1st degree burns. The Rangers have a good core, but just not enough depth to surround it. While they could wait until the off-season and test their luck in free agency, it seems like they will end up trying to send off some of their top players for more assets. Pending UFA: Loui Eriksson, Joel Ward, Joe Pavelski, Bryan Bickell Trade Bait: Alexander Steen, Justin Williams, Paul Stastny Needs: Top 6 winger, young top 6 D, backup Goalie, Picks Philadelphia Flyers: 6th in the Brendl 75 Points, Sellers With a great run lately, the Flyers are not out of it. Though it gets to the point that if they don’t do something, they may lose out on any chance that they have. While being stuck in a limbo leaves them a chance to go either route, the cameras point to them being sellers with the amount of pending UFA’s they have even though they don’t have their 1st. AND THE CAMERAS NEVER LIE! Pending UFA: Vincent Lecavalier, Nathan Horton, David Krejci, Johnny Boychuk, Rich Peverley Trade Bait: Jiri Hudler, David Clarkson, UFAs Needs: A young top 6 D, two-way bottom 6 F, a top 6 sniper Columbus Blue Jackets: 5th in the Brendl 80 Points, Buyers *It will be noted that we have no footage of the Blue Jackets and their new GM Michael Jank. We claimed our cameras and returned them to save money since all they were shooting for months was an empty computer desk that had cat videos playing on a loop……..not sure why we got rid of them now that we think of it. With a playoff spot in sight, it’s hard not to see the Jackets trying to push for it. As indicative of his first deal, the Jackets moved out Shaw for Naemstinkov which means they are…..umm….it means…..we have no clue what that means. It’s hard to get a read on the Jackets; they could do anything from sell Greg Zanon, buy a few depth players, do nothing or move Ovechkin. Guess is as good as mine. Pending UFA: Mike Smith, Sheldon Souray, Pekka Rinne, Dave Bolland Trade Bait: Everyone….or no one :o Needs: More scoring depth up front. Carolina Hurricanes: 4th in the Brendl 80 Points, Hold What the cameras have caught is the Hurricanes brass throwing up their arms every time they score, wondering how this fate fell upon them. After picking 2nd overall last year, the Hurricanes had expected to go in to next Summer by adding another top prospect. Now, they are in the hunt to enter this dreaded thing called the ‘playoffs’. Even though they do have pieces to sell, expect them to stand firm by still gunning for a spot without sacrificing any future. Pending UFA: David Booth, Wade Redden, Corey Crawford Trade Bait: Pending UFAs Needs: Top 6 winger, a top 6 centre Washington Capitals: 3rd in the Brendl 81 Points, Hold While our cameras have caught terrorist plots and moments of infidelity from President Obama, our attention is fully steered towards the Capitals front office. The Capitals are usually not the most active on the trade front, and while they might not have the strongest team, by god they get the job done. With guys like Brian Campbell and Johan Franzen lighting it up, and secondary guys filling in nicely, it’d be stupid to mess with chemistry. Pending UFA: Brian Campbell, Jean-Sebastien Giguere Trade Bait: Moving one of their C’s for wing depth Needs: A rulebook for Wayne Simmonds (HE HAS 299 PIMS in 50 GAMES!!) New Jersey Devils: 2nd in the Brendl 84 Points, Buyers Sometime soon after the cameras were put up, the Devils made a bonfire of tapes of Game 7 of the Conference finals, but it was soon pointed out that no one uses tapes anymore and that the video is online. After a heartbreaking loss last year, the Devils are back for revenge and even though Ott hasn’t dominated like he did last year, Jarret Stoll has filled that role quite nicely. Though in the midst of a 5 game losing streak, it might push JP to make a move to shore up any weaknesses on the roster. Pending UFA: Cam Ward, Andrei Markov, Marek Zidlicky Trade Bait: Mike Komisarek Needs: Wings………wings that can’t be solved by Red Bull New York Islanders: 1st in the Brendl 88 Points, Buyers Ben Gallant has been quiet, and for good reason. This team built on the sweat and tears of veterans has pumped out nothing but results. The key to that has been Henrik Lundqvist and the defense, and if they don’t bring in some scoring, that will be rough on the backend going forward in to the postseason. Pending UFA: Mike Fisher, Kris Versteeg, Jonathan Ericsson, Mike Weaver, Maxim Lapierre Trade Bait: Cam Fowler, 1st rounder Needs: Scoring, scoring and more scoring
