Buffalo Sabres 2026 Draft Review
2026-07-19(Accordion music plays. The familiar Great White North backdrop appears. Bob and Doug are standing in front of a card table with two stubbies and a pile of hockey magazines.)
DOUG: Okay, hoser. It's time for another episode of Great White North. I'm Doug McKenzie.
BOB: And I'm Bob McKenzie, eh.
DOUG: No you're not.
BOB: Yeah I am.
DOUG: No, Bob McKenzie is the TSN guy. You're just Bob McKenzie.
BOB: That's what I said.
DOUG: Beauty. Anyways...So, the Buffalo Sabres had themselves a draft, eh.
BOB: More picks than a guitar store.
DOUG: Seriously. I thought they were just gonna draft the whole junior league.
BOB: They almost did. I ran outta fingers counting.
DOUG: That's 'cause you started with mittens on.
BOB: It was cold.
DOUG: It was July!
BOB: Air conditioning, eh.
First Round
DOUG: So first they grab Ryan Lin at fourteenth overall.
BOB: Sounds fast.
DOUG: You don't know that.
BOB: He's named Ryan. Ryans are fast.
DOUG: What about Ryan from next door?
BOB: Well...he wasn't.
DOUG: Exactly. Then they pick Liam Ruck at twenty-one.
BOB: Then Markus Ruck at twenty-five.
DOUG: Brothers.
BOB: That's pretty smart.
DOUG: Yeah?
BOB: Saves money on Christmas presents.
DOUG: They're teammates, not roommates.
BOB: Maybe.
DOUG: You don't know that.
BOB: Take off, eh? Neither do you.
DOUG: Good point.
Second Round Frenzy
DOUG: Then Buffalo keeps drafting like somebody left the timer running.
BOB: Chase Harrington.
DOUG: Niklas Aaram-Olsen.
BOB: Ryder Cali.
DOUG: Victor Plante.
BOB: Ethan McKenzie.
(Both pause.)
DOUG: McKenzie?
BOB: Relative.
DOUG: You don't know that.
BOB: Everybody named McKenzie is related eventually.
DOUG: That's not how genealogy works.
BOB: Could.
DOUG: Maybe if you go back to Vikings or something.
BOB: Exactly.
DOUG: Beauty.
Third & Fourth Rounds
DOUG: Beckett Hamilton in the third.
BOB: Sounds like he'd either score forty goals or invent a steam engine.
DOUG: Wrong Hamilton.
BOB: They're all the same.
DOUG: Then they get Lincoln Kuehne...
BOB: Lavr Gashilov...
DOUG: Olivers Murnieks...
BOB: Those are hockey names.
DOUG: Every name's a hockey name if you skate hard enough.
BOB: True.
Late Round Steals
DOUG: Fifth round...
Beckham Edwards.
Samuel Eriksson.
Then seventh round...
Colin Fitzgerald.
BOB: Seventh-round guys are dangerous.
DOUG: Why's that?
BOB: Nobody expects 'em.
DOUG: That's actually...not bad.
BOB: I read that on a fortune cookie.
Draft Analysis
DOUG: So what do ya think?
BOB: I think Buffalo's plan was simple.
DOUG: What's that?
BOB: Draft everybody.
DOUG: They were pretty close.
BOB: Imagine being the scout.
DOUG: "Who do you like?"
BOB: "Yes."
DOUG: "All of 'em."
BOB: "Load up the bus." Hey hoser, let me give you an expert scouting report on the Sabre-oonies draft.
Ryan Lin...
Good.
Liam Ruck...
Good.
Markus Ruck...
Also good.
Everybody else...
Pretty good.
DOUG: That's your scouting report?
BOB: Concise.
DOUG: You used one adjective.
BOB: Efficient.
DOUG: So how many of these guys make the NHL?
BOB: You mean the MRFHL?
DOUG: Right. The MRFHL.
BOB: I'd say lots.
DOUG: That's not a number.
BOB: More than seven.
DOUG: Less than fifteen?
BOB: Probably.
DOUG: Scientific. You know what I'd like?
BOB: A donut?
DOUG: Besides that.
BOB: Two donuts?
DOUG: I'd like to see all fifteen guys show up for rookie camp carrying one case of beer.
BOB: That's a lotta beer.
DOUG: Team chemistry.
BOB: Coach'd be impressed.
DOUG: Or fired. Anyways, congratulations to Ryan Lin...
Liam Ruck...
Markus Ruck...
Chase Harrington...
Niklas Aaram-Olsen...
Ryder Cali...
Victor Plante...
Ethan McKenzie...
Beckett Hamilton...
Lincoln Kuehne...
Lavr Gashilov...
Olivers Murnieks...
Beckham Edwards...
Samuel Eriksson...
and Colin Fitzgerald.
BOB: Hope you all make it.
DOUG: Skate hard.
BOB: Listen to the coach.
DOUG: Don't take Bob's scouting advice.
BOB: Especially if it involves genealogy.
DOUG: Or fortune cookies.
BOB: Or donuts.
DOUG: Especially donuts.
BOTH: Keep your stick on the ice...
...and...
BOTH: TAKE OFF, EH!
(Theme music plays as Bob accidentally knocks over both bottles trying to toast Doug. Doug shakes his head while the credits roll.)
i can hear them in my head
Buffalo Sabres 2026 Draft Review
By Bob & Doug McKenzie