'Twas the night before Merf-mas
2025-12-18
’Twas the night before Merf-mas, and across each division,
The GMs were restless, each planning their vision.
With rosters all set and cap space threadbare,
They dreamed that the sim gods would finally be fair
The Bonsignore, chaos danced in the snow:
Vancouver and Rino, last place with cup glow;
the Flames Derek, the commish’s dear cousin,
Rigging the league, allegedly games by the dozen
Tanner’s Oilers proclaimed, “Undefeated, it seems,”
Though the standings said otherwise, pure fantasy dreams.
Pacman’s Kings waka-waka’d deep through the night,
While the Sharks Chomp, posted travels in flight—
Shared pictures and vibes wherever he roamed,
As Beamer’s Ducks guarded the top pick he disowned.
Dan’s Vegas still wished, by the glow of the tree,
That Buffalo playoffs might come eventually.
Seattle’s Magikarp splashed through to the end
Then evolved into Gyarados, a new team wide trend.
In Stephen Division, the tension burned bright,
Like screens glowing blue on a cold winter night.
Todd’s Blackhawks, once cursed beyond measure
Now stacking up wins like wrapped Merf-mas treasure.
Gary’s Utah, a shrine to AHL might,
With Texas Stars sweaters hung snug and tight.
Dallas’s Mark stayed silent all year,
But showed up draft night with a grin and good cheer.
Jer’s Avs fired GIFs by the fire’s warm glow,
Racking hits and PIMs like a Merf-mas goon show.
Jesse’s Wild iced a roster painfully thin,
Nothing to sell and no clear road to win.
Stu’s Blues battled on, but the wins were slow,
Tank’s Jets popped in for the annual Mack-Drai show.
And BigPaus in Nashville, once large and severe,
Played LittlePaus moves in a down sim year.
In Daigle’s dominion, the stories rang loud,
Like carols sung poorly but soundly and proud.
Detroit’s Austin, a merf-mas hockey sage,
Always online, pushing Fowler with rage.
Dylan’s Panthers, the commissioner’s pride,
slid down the standings, no place left to hide
Lightning cracked as Shrek’s swamp filled the sky,
Toronto’s Clay signed deals with a little help from AI.
Bill’s Ottawa trudged ahead with Ron Swanson charm,
While Montreal’s Bouds Slaf bets lost him the farm.
Scared to lose picks, he kept wagers at bay,
While Nico in Boston got Hasek’d all day.
Ron’s Sabres stayed Vanilla, looking for a buyer,
A scorched-earth rebuild for picks piled all the higher.
In Brendl’s quad lands, where old rivals reside,
The snowbanks were high and the trash talk was wide.
Darren’s Rangers leading, first place in the East,
Kirk’s Caps right behind him, a chase not yet ceased.
Ian’s Devils inherited ruins and ash,
A long winter rebuild, no shortcut or stash.
Andrew’s Penguins waddled with wildcard ambition
Robby’s Isles stalled Makar trades with pure indecision.
Jroc’s Hurricanes blew through with trailer-park flair,
rsyzygy Jackets dropped vowels like they just didn’t care.
Luc’s Flyers took flight with chaos and grit,
Giving Philly that trademark “Belanger” spirit.
And all through the league, not a GM at rest,
With waiver claims queued and league chats distressed.
Some prayed for health, some prayed for trades,
Some prayed their keepers weren’t horrible fades.
Then out from the server, in Merf-mas Eve light,
Came a voice through the Discord, both calm and polite:
“merry Merf-mas to all, may your box scores be tight,
May your goalies not .800 you out of the fight;
May rebuilds find traction, may curses unbend,
May trades finally close, and your luck never end.”
And the message rang out, from cellar to peak
“Merry Merf-mas, you beauties! Enjoy the holiday week!”
Who has Fowler here? lol
'Twas the night before Merf-mas
A Merf-mas Eve visit from Simta Claus
This is awesome..haha
'Twas the night before Merf-mas
A Merf-mas Eve visit from Simta Claus
Undefeated in Christmas posts the Oilers they be, in hopes one day the trade would succeed.
'Twas the night before Merf-mas
A Merf-mas Eve visit from Simta Claus
Great read. Well done.
'Twas the night before Merf-mas
A Merf-mas Eve visit from Simta Claus
This was a great read. Just I deserve a paragraph not a one liner. Merry Christmas you filthy animal!
'Twas the night before Merf-mas
A Merf-mas Eve visit from Simta Claus